01
Nov
09

The Final Five or Our Predictions for Project Runway

Ladies and Gentlemen: A Word from our Editor in Chief.

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The editor in chief of The Minneapolitan (center) surrounded by the current editorial staff at a recent editorial meeting.

Hello everyone!  Do please make yourself comfortable.  As you may have heard, I won the staff pool by correctly guessing all of the final five of Project Runray correctly.  While the designs have been hit or miss this season, they have still hewed to the final five template that I discovered after watching five seasons.  It breaks down like this:

  • The Two Nice Ones – These are the nice people that we like. (i.e. Jay and Kara Saun from season 1 – pre-shoegate, Daniel V. and Chloe from season 2, Mychael and Uli from season 3, Leanne and Korto from Season 5)
  • The Villain – The one who is mean, manipulative, and in general, an asshole.  (See Wendy Pepper, Santino, Jeffrey, Kenley.)
  • The Heartbreak Kid – The one we the audience love (usually the big gay one) but will be sacrificed to the fashion and reality TV gods (i.e. Austin Scarlet, Nick Verreos – his bitchy asides excluded, Kayne, and Chris March).
  • The WTF – The one that we ask ourselves “Why are you still here?”  Usually this one hasn’t won a challenge by this point (Robert from Season 1 is the classic example as is Sweet P.  I would also count Laura Bennett and Kara Janx but in the former case, she won that challenge.  And in the case of the later, I agree with Tom and Lorenzo: had she survived to the final three, she probably would have won.  To see her amazing collection – which was the decoy collection that year – click here and here.

So now we must turn our jaundiced glaze over to the current crop of couturiers and see how they shake out.

  • The Villain – All together now…Irina.  Unlike previous villains, she actually has a point: some of the construction on the garments of her competitors is shoddy.  But that doesn’t mean that her shit doesn’t stink – as she showed last week, her dress was a mess (and thank god Nina Garcia called her on it, but Nina is the subject of another post).
  • The Heartbreak Kid – This one goes to (who else?) Gordonna.  We here at The Minneapolitan (and at other sites) love the little Serbian Seamstress with killer gams.  But she has been the whipping girl of a certain (leggy, blonde, German) judge who has what we call “taste issues.”
  • The WTF – While our own Christopher could (and should) easily fall in there, I would like to give this award to Althea if only for the fact that I have yet to see Althea make a proper fitting bust.
  • The Two Nice Ones – Carol Hannah (who I have a feeling has more up her sleeveless dresses than she’s showing us) and Christopher (who we want to love but boy howdy we have seen some dogs on that runway).

And now, for the predictions.  First, who we think SHOULD go to Bryant Park:

  1. Irina – Say what you will about the bitch (and yes, she is), she knows what she’s doing.  Plus she has the advantage of being the one this season with the most wins.
  2. Carol Hannah – Again, I think she’s hiding something awesome.
  3. Gordonna – If only for the fact that I’d love for her to win and say “In your face you tasteless whore!” in Serbian to Frau Seal.

As to who WILL go, I have a feeling it’s Althea, Carol Hannah, and Christopher.

Stay tuned this week for my analysis of this season and how to make it better for next season.

The Minneapolitan

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